Are you waiting for the single magical "right" time?
Posted on 14th August 2024 at 07:45
We often talk about the many – and various – tricks the Little Monster in our Heads plays on us. At first glance, they all seem eminently sensible and reasonable, common sense really. So, it’s hardly surprising that we rarely stop to question them, accepting them without a second thought. And the trap springs, with us doing – or not doing (!) – the same things over and over again. On one hand we remain “safe”, with the status quo – our current circumstances, not the rather aged rock band (!) – continuing as before. On the other, we continue doing – or not doing – the same time over and over again.
And, it’s one of these little tricks we’d like to talk about today. That there is a single – and magical – “right” time to do something AND it’s in our best interests to wait until it arrives. So, we wait. And wait. And wait.
Unfortunately, just as tomorrow never comes – there is only the present moment, right now – there isn’t one single magical “right” time to do anything either.
So, if it isn’t about there being a “right” time, what is this really all about?
Well, if you take a look at whatever it is, it’s usually driven by a fear of some kind rather than anything else. And this is the Little Monster in our Heads’ most effective weapon at preventing us from doing anything outside our comfort zone, new or different.
If you’re not convinced, here are some very common examples of putting things off until the “right” time, some – or all (!) – of which may resonate with you:
Waiting until the beginning of the year, month or week to make a change. Think all those good intentions you put off making until sometime in the future, whether you’ve got a magic date in mind or not. Why not just start right now?
Which brings us on to another very common one. Waiting for someone else to change for you to be happy. “I’ll be happy when x, y and z happens.” Remember you can only control one thing in life and that’s yourself, so pinning your happiness on someone else doing something only guarantees one result. Instead, make yourself responsible for your own happiness – or anything else you desire. Let others be as they choose to be…
Needing someone to make an apology for something in the dim distant past before you can move on. Making someone else responsible for what you do in your life only guarantees one thing. That you’ll just continue waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Why not just let it go and accept that everyone is doing their best, however it may appear to you. And that includes you too…
And here’s a very similar one, waiting for the “right” time to have a difficult conversation. You know the ones… The only thing waiting guarantees is that it gets harder as everyone – aided by the Little Monster in their Heads – becomes more entrenched that they are “right” and the other person is “wrong” with all too predictable results. So, take a deep breath and speak your mind as gently and kindly as you can, remembering that all those involved in whatever it is played their own part in the end result…
Waiting for someone else to give you their blessing – of permission – to do whatever it is that you want to do. No one can decide what feels best for you, they can only give you their perspective based on their feelings, knowledge and experience. And that is always going to be different to yours, whether a little or a lot. Instead, take a deep breath and take the next step. See where is takes you.
Closely related to this is waiting for others to do what you’d like to do. Why not just go and do whatever it is and you’ll meet others who share your interests…
As is waiting for someone to accept, support or love you.
While it may seem counter intuitive, giving this to yourself first is the quickest way to inspire others to do so as well. Why? For the simple reason that how you treat yourself sends out the vibe that others pick up and so treat you.
Now we’ve pointed them out, they seem so obvious – and you can probably come up with plenty of other examples of your own.
So, where are we going with this?
Well, as usual, it’s quite simple.
The first and most important thing is to notice what’s going on. Until you do, you’ll keep falling for the same old trick. Then, having done so, you can look at whatever it is with a fresh – and more objective – pair of eyes. And, as you do so, you’ll notice how you start to feel differently about it. Perhaps, gain a new perspective. Inspiration will begin to appear. All nudging you in a direction you hadn’t considered before, with you firmly in the driving seat. Then, before you know it, you’re on your way. The magic time is always now.
As always, the choice is yours.
Picture by unknown author
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