Choosing to be happy, one moment at a time
Posted on 11th November 2020 at 07:18
With all the madness ratchetting up yet again, whether it’s “Pandemic the sequel” or the ongoing saga of the American election – and that’s all we’re going to say on either of those contentious topics (!) – it’s all too easy to be swept away by it all. Finding ourselves trapped in a quagmire of “doom, gloom and despondency” before even realising what’s happening.
So, it seemed like a good time for a quick reminder that how we feel is a choice that each one of us makes, every moment of every day. And, just in case you missed it, we’re going to repeat the most important word in that last sentence. CHOICE. Yes, it is!
While it may sound rather daunting, there is only ever one person in charge of our lives. Us. And, yes, we know this can be a rather unpalatable uncomfortable truth for some; particularly those who are very adept at pointing the finger elsewhere for whatever happens in their lives. You know who you are!
Although it may seem like the people and world around us are driving what happens in our lives – and how we feel about it – this is simply not the case. External factors only ever provide the stimulus. It’s down to each one of us to CHOOSE – all too often unconsciously – how to react to them.
And, for those who are still busy pointing the finger elsewhere, this is very easy to demonstrate in practice. When you’re next in a group – at a suitable distance, of course (!) – notice how each person reacts differently to the same person or event.
True, there will be many similarities, but each person will always react in their own unique way. This means, logically (!), it can’t be the external person or event that’s driving our reactions. Otherwise we would all react in an identical way. So, it must be coming from each person individually, putting each of us firmly in the driving seat of how we experience our lives and what goes on around us. Which is where things get much more interesting, not to mention scary too…
It’s easy to be happy when things are going our way. When the world around us and our feelings are – as the song says (!) – in perfect harmony. However, as soon as they begin to diverge – when the outer world contradicts how we would like to feel – this is where problems can begin. And we all too quickly find ourselves sliding down a very steep and slippery slope. However, all it’s really doing is reminding us that, in every moment, we have a CHOICE of what to focus on.
Do we focus on all the things that are going “right” in our lives at that particular moment – and there are always plenty of them, IF we CHOOSE to look for them. Or, do we continue speeding down the slippery slope. Just as there are always more positive things IF we CHOOSE to look for them; the reverse is equally true too. There are always more negative things to find, IF we CHOOSE to look for them. And this is where CHOICE becomes all important.
So many people fall into the trap of believing that, one day, everything will magically be perfect and they’ll be happy. It’s simply a case of hanging in there until it happens. Sadly, this is never the case.
However good – or not so good (!) – our lives are at this moment in time, there will always be challenges and obstacles ready to trip up the unwary. Equally true is that there will always be lots of good things happening as well IF we CHOOSE to focus on them. Regardless of how many clouds there may be in the sky, the sun is always there too. All we have to do is CHOOSE to look for it!
The bottom line is that it’s down to each one of us to CHOOSE how to feel and what to focus on in every moment. Which path to go down. Happiness or “doom, gloom and despondency”.
All that’s needed is for us to start noticing how we’re feeling as we go about our day. Then, as soon as we feel that we’re starting to slide, making the CHOICE of how we wish to feel. Do we wish to continue sliding downhill or make the CHOICE to float back upwards. It really is that simple.
As with all skills, the more we practice the easier it becomes, until it’s something we do automatically. Becomes our default setting. Even better, it makes life flow so much more easily. For us and those around us.
And, let’s quickly answer a question that invariably gets asked by Clients. Won’t it make us one of those annoyingly, possibly insincere people who seem to delight in showing just how happy we are, regardless of what’s going on around us? Thankfully, no! Instead it allows us to remain stable and positive, regardless of what’s going on in our lives AND the wider world. Helping not only ourselves but everyone we come into contact with, as well as letting the effects ripple out to the wider world too.
Oh, and before we finish for today, here’s a happy little song from the Lighthouse Family we’ve recently rediscovered to help speed you on your way. Just click here.
As always, the choice is yours.
Picture by unknown author
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