Exaggeration, friend or foe?

 

 

And, as so often is the case, the less than helpful answer is “it depends.” 

 

Not only on its “flavour”, but who the lucky – or unlucky (!) – recipient is. Not forgetting the effect it may having on the person telling – or repeating – the story… 

 

By “flavour” we mean whether it’s positive or, shall we say, less than positive (!). 

 

Was it all about this fantastic thing / person / something else positive – or enjoyable – that happened? 

 

In which case, a big hurrah – or HURRAH!!! – all round, accompanied by lots of lovely positive feelings. Appreciation. Thankfulness. Joy. And the rest. 

 

Everyone benefits and, even though they may know – or suspect – a little exaggeration was involved, their day becomes a little better as a result. 

 

Or, was it closer to the other end of the spectrum? 

 

More like one of those Country and Western songs with a long list of woes. You know the ones. They lost their job, their house burnt down, partner left, dog died and so it goes on… Guaranteed to stop any day in its tracks and ruin the best mood. Moving swiftly on… 

Which brings us on to the lucky – or unlucky (!) – recipients. Not only the person(s) hearing the story first hand but, like Chinese Whispers, those it’s repeated to. After all, we all love to pass on a dramatic story, positive or otherwise. 

 

And, finally, the person we tend to overlook. The one actually telling the story. Over and over again. With embellishments on every retelling. After all, they’re the one who hears it the most. Relives it. Keeps thinking about it. 

 

So, something that only happened once, is now being experienced many, many times. Re lived over and over again, with all the emotions it invokes. 

 

If it’s a positive story, whether long in the making or coming as a lovely surprise, great. The more we revel in it and pass the good news on to others to also enjoy, the better. Everyone benefits and feels better as a result. 

 

But what if it’s less than positive? 

 

Well, the simple answer is that no one benefits; in fact, quite the opposite.  

 

And there are no prizes for guessing who’s affected the most. The person telling the story. Going over and over it, beefing up the most dramatic – and negative – parts of it on every telling. After all, we all love a good story! Re living all the negative emotions time and time again. It’s like being on their own emotional roller coaster, plummeting more steeply downwards each time. Not only do they feel bad, so does every “lucky” recipient of their story… 

 

Unfortunately, it doesn’t stop there. With their focus now firmly on the negative, it’s no surprise they then notice any other less than positive things as they go about their day. Cue a good – or average – day spiralling rapidly downwards. 

 

And here’s another aspect that tends to be overlooked. As they think – or talk about whatever it is – a huge amount of negative energy and thoughts are being sent back to the person or incident involved. Worry, pity, anger and all the rest. Or, put another way, it’s like adding fuel to the fire. Turning whatever it is into a much larger and more entrenched issue, so less easy to resolve. A problem becomes a BIG PROBLEM. 

 

So, there are no prizes for guessing where we’re going with this (!). 

 

We all love a good story and passing on our good news helps everyone concerned. Allowing everyone to revel in it and share our pleasure. Hurrah! 

 

Passing on bad news, particularly that which is embellished on every telling, helps no one. NO ONE!!! And that includes you. Much better for all concerned to leave it unsaid, letting it wither through lack of attention. 

 

But what if you really want or need to tell someone – or a very select number of people – about it? To let them know what has happened, just so they’re aware. Well, the trick is to keep it short and factual. Then to ask them to help you, perhaps in thinking about the solution / outcome you would like or by sending positive thoughts that it can be easily resolved. 

 

And, before we finish for today, one final thought. Our focus changes everything. So, however good – or bad – our lives seem to be at the moment, focussing on one particular matter can change everything. 

 

Focussing on something “bad” can quickly turn a good day into a difficult one. Speed the downward spiral of a day that didn’t start in the best way into a nightmare. 

 

However, the good news is that it works just as easily the other way as well. Good news can lift you out of a bad day. Make a good day magical. 

 

So it’s up to you. Exaggerate the good things as much as you like – and to as many people as possible (!). Squeeze every drop of juice out of them. And leave the less than positive things well alone. Let them wither in the dark from lack of attention. 

 

As always, the choice is yours.