Giving feedback...

 

Not surprisingly, this leads on to one of two responses. 

 

The first, as we’ve already mentioned, involves a liberal use of the “delete” key, probably accompanied by a little muttering. Or worse… 

 

The second does elicit a response, albeit less than helpful. Perhaps a bland “ok” or “as expected.” Or, all too often out of frustration, a much more forthright – although probably not overly helpful – response. 

 

So, why do we find giving feedback so difficult? 

 

Certainly, the feeling it’s just “ticking the box” and unlikely to be acted on is a big one. “Why waste my time, it’s not going to make any difference.” 

 

More importantly, it also goes against our desire not to be confrontational. Puts us in the spotlight in some way. 

 

And yet good, honest feedback is a godsend to both sides of the equation. 

 

For the person giving the feedback it lets them give an honest assessment of the goods or service. Sing its praises, pass on any tips or unexpected benefits that others may find useful. At the other extreme, it stops them from chuntering – or worse (!) – over the experience. Replaying over and over again what went “wrong” or, at least, not as expected / desired. Just as important, it prevents them from getting into a very negative downward spiral of “Why does this always happen to me.” 

 

For those on the receiving end of the feedback, particularly where something isn’t working, it flags up the issue from the other person’s point of view and gives them an opportunity to address it. Whether they were aware of it or not… 

 

So, from both sides it’s a “win win” situation. And, yet, we still shy away from it. The question then is how to make it easy – and positive – for everyone concerned. 

 

Well, to start with – as with everything in life – not doing it on the hoof when you’re already angry / upset / something else. That’s unless you want to guarantee it’ll be a less than positive experience for everyone involved… 

 

Then, starting from a calmer place, getting clear on exactly what the issues were – the more specific the better – and suggestions for how to avoid them in the future and, ideally, make improvements too. And it’s the suggestions that are the important part, ensuring feedback is constructive rather than destructive. If you’re in any doubt, imagine for a moment how it would feel to be on the receiving end of it… 

 

And there’s one very easy way to sweeten the pill further. Pay a compliment first. However small, looking for anything that was positive or “right”. Yes, it may take a little effort to find it, but is guaranteed to start the feedback on a positive note rather than going straight into a negative, downward spiral. Make it more likely to be taken seriously and acted upon. 

 

Yes, giving feedback can be scary, but it can also be liberating and a boon for everyone concerned. 

 

As always, the choice is yours.