Pulling it all together...
Posted on 25th March 2020 at 09:33
Over the past few weeks, we’ve been taking a look at what’s actually going on in our heads. Discovered that, contrary to what we’d like to think, we have very little idea of what’s really going on. Let alone how – or why – it happens…
We know this revelation has been rather unsettling – even scary – for many people. It was for us, the first time we realised that the way we experience life was down to us. 100% of our own making. Without the involvement of any external – or arbitrary – force. Full stop. End of story.
However, the great news is that, this revelation puts us back where we belong. In the driving seat. Gives us the power to choose how we experience our life and what happens in it. And, with everything going on at the time of posting (25th March 2020), there’s never been a time when understanding this has been more important…
So, this week, we’re going to do a quick recap. Pull all the threads together. Ah, now the picture makes sense!
Our beliefs – or assumptions – are our basic operating system. The software driving us. The bouncer guarding the door to our own personal club. The filter – or sieve – through which everything we experience passes.
They’re completely unique to us. No two people have exactly the same set of beliefs, however similar they may appear to be.
Now here’s the important bit. Our beliefs provide the foundations on which our entire world is built. They determine the way we experience ourselves and the world around us. And then the way we react. By thoughts, words and deeds. Many apologies, we still haven’t come up with a less biblical sounding explanation (!).
However, there’s a big problem with them. They’re completely invisible to us.
For the simple reason that they weren’t consciously installed by us. We never looked at any of them before they were installed. Decided whether they were right – or true – for us.
Instead, they were taken on board unconsciously. From those around us, starting from when we were very small. Babes in arms. And, as those around us had gone through exactly the same process when they were small, they were equally oblivious to what was going on too.
It’s easy to assume some malicious intent in all of this but there really isn’t. While it may not always seem like it, everyone was just doing the best they knew at the time. And still are…
Once in place, each belief becomes part of our operating system – the foundations – on which more beliefs – or assumptions – are built. And, this process continues throughout our lives, till our final day. It creates our own unique little world without us ever realising it.
The good news is that we can choose to make this into a conscious process at any time. Take a look at the foundations on which our world is built. Decide whether some small changes – or, perhaps, more of a wholesale demolition and rebuilding job (!) – are needed.
While this can sound like hard work, it needn’t be. There’s a very simple process to do this, which can be used each time you notice a belief – or assumption – coming up. You can find it in our blog post a couple of weeks’ ago by clicking here or by looking at the reminder below:
FIRST, highlight the belief(s) – or assumption(s) – underlying whatever it is by asking:
What would a person have to believe – or assume – to create this situation?
SECOND, create a little distance, so you can really put it under the spotlight:
Does this particular belief – that ………………………….. (fill in the blank) – help me?
Does it hurt me?
Does it make me feel good?
THIRD, notice it doesn’t help or serve you. Make a conscious decision to let it go.
And, FINALLY, replace it with a positive belief or assumption. What you really would like.
Then, simply, rinse and repeat as necessary.
It really is as easy as that!
So, as many clients have asked us, does this mean it’s all going to be all roses from here on in? We’d love to say “yes” but, unfortunately, “no.” There are simply too many variables in life, the majority of which we have absolutely no control over. And, yes, we know this isn’t what people want to hear. But that doesn’t stop it from being true.
However, equally true, is that it does give us the ability to find a rose – or two (!) – in whatever’s happening. Even with all the things going on right now.
How? Because once we start to consciously choose the beliefs – or assumptions – driving the way we perceive whatever’s happening, then it puts us back in control of our lives. Albeit in a slightly different way. It lets us decide the picture being painted and, just as importantly, how we perceive – or experience – it.
By controlling what happens inside ourselves, we then change how we react – by thoughts, words or deeds – to whatever happens in our lives. It allows us to react in a way that reflects who we really are and how we wish to live our lives. So, with everything going on right now, wouldn’t this be a good time to practice this new approach to life?
Whether they’re very recent or shrouded in the mists of time, beliefs ALWAYS come from the past. Even worse, they usually come from someone else, not from ourselves. They are not us, let alone who we are right now. Nor may they be who we choose to become in the future.
Seen in this light, doesn’t it make sense to take a look at them? Whether as they come up or as part of a more regular spring clean of our heads. Decide if they really do work for us. Help us become the person we want to be. Live the life we desire. And, if they don’t, to replace them with ones that do. It really is that simple.
As always, the choice is yours.
Photo by unknown author
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