Sitting on the fence...

 

 

Have you noticed how dismissive people can be about any new information that comes their way?  

 

And this applies whether it’s broadly in line with their existing knowledge / world view or not. 

 

While the end result may be the same – the instant rejection of any new information – the rationale behind them is quite different. 

 

Where the information is broadly in line with their existing knowledge / world view, their logic is quite simple. “I already know this, why are you wasting my time?” Next… 

 

Conversely, where it’s well outside this – so challenging their existing knowledge / world view – then it’s dismissed for being too far removed from what they already know. “I already know how things are and this doesn’t fit in with it.” Next… 

 

So, on one hand it’s dismissed for wasting their time – “I already know this” – while on the other, as being a threat to their current understanding of the world. Two different thought processes, the same end result. 

 

And, in so doing, a golden opportunity is missed. 

 

Where the information is reinforcing their existing knowledge, the question is whether they’re using it as a reminder to check whether they’re actually putting their existing knowledge into practice?!? After all, any information is only of value if it’s being used… 

 

However much the Little Monster in our Heads tries to convince us otherwise, there is NO value in being aware of something “in theory”. Its value ONLY comes from putting it into practice, using it in some way. And you might like to mull that one over for a minute or two and notice where you’re already falling for this sneaky little trick… 

 

Where the information is well outside this, it provides the chance to re evaluate their existing understanding. 

 

Is it still true? Well, more accurately, true for them (!). 

 

Or, is it hinting that some update is needed, whether large or small? 

 

In both cases, this new information is being sent to help them. But only IF they make the most of this golden opportunity. 

 

So, the question is, why do we do this? 

 

Well, as so often is the case, we’re not the ones doing this. It only happens when we’re not in the driving seat. And, there are no prizes for guessing who is. The Little Monster in our Heads (!). 

 

Ah, now things are becoming a little clearer… 

 

So, now we’ve identified the culprit (!), we’ll ask the same question again. Why do we do this?!? 

 

Well, it’s all about certainty and maintaining the status quo – the present state of affairs / understanding, not the aging rock band (!). Ensuring that life is certain with no nasty surprises. 

 

Unfortunately, it also means that we end up stuck, doing the same thing over and over again. Our love of certainty – of knowing what’s going to happen, whether we desire or not – is a huge barrier to anything new that may threaten it. It’s why we do the same things over and over again, with all too predictable results… 

 

Added to this is our desire not to look stupid, which is what the Little Monster in our Heads convinces us will happen if we change our mind about something. Ironically, exactly the opposite is the case. Not being willing to change our opinion or worldview in the light of new – or previously unseen – information, now that is stupid… It’s NEVER about being “wrong”. Or, as the Little Monster in our Heads likes to convince us, of being stupid. It’s an improvement, an upgrade, a step forward. All positive. 

 

So, where are we going with this? 

 

Well, it’s about being willing to accept the uncertainty that any new information brings, whether it’s something we think we already know or well outside it. Resisting the urge to instantly dismiss it or make a snap judgement. 

 

Instead, adopting a more neutral “this is interesting” point of view to any new information that comes our way. In other words, sitting on the fence, rather than being instantly dismissive. Giving it time to sink in, allowing other information to come in to either confirm it or dismiss it. Then making an informed decision on whether to update our understanding on whatever it is or to leave it be, for now at least. 

 

While sitting on the fence may not always be the most comfortable place (!), it does give an excellent view, while keeping all the options open. Even better, it allows life to start flowing more easily, rather than constantly blocking it with snap judgements and instant dismissals. 

 

As always, the choice is yours.