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Posts tagged “Mindset”

One topic that fascinates us – and has the ability to completely shatter many of our illusions about this world of ours – is time. 
How there is only now. This present moment. And the next. And next. Ad infinitum. 
 
The past has gone. But, when we were there, it was just another now. Another moment in time. (For some reason we haven’t yet fathomed, many people find this a hard notion to get their heads around.) 
 
The future has yet to come. And, yes, you’ve guessed it when you get there it’ll be another now. 
We’ve all had those days. 
 
You know, the ones where you never quite seem to get going. 
 
Or, perhaps you did. Then something knocked you off course and you never regained your momentum. 
 
And it doesn’t matter whether you were at home or work. 
 
Either way, before you know it, it’s suddenly mid afternoon and you find yourself thinking that the day’s practically over. 
 
It’s too late to get anything done, so you may as well just give up and have a cup of tea. Or coffee. With a biscuit or two. Spend the evening at home in front of the television. 
 
But, today is not over yet. 
 
So how about a new plan? 
Listening to clients – as well as those we encounter in our day to day lives – it’s all too easy to fall into the “doom, gloom and despondency” trap. That the world is hard, negative and uncaring. Life is a constant struggle and the best we can hope for is to get by. 
 
However, as we’ve said many times before, this isn’t what life is about at all. We live on a planet that’s amazing and beautiful. Life is here for us to enjoy and, dare we say it, be happy (!). 
As clients and regular readers of this blog will know by now we like to keep things simple.  
 
That’s why we always focus on the small things you can do at home to help yourself. They’re all easy to do and quickly become part of your routine, so you don’t even have to think about them. Even better, they all have lots of other benefits as well, giving you more “bang for your buck.” 
 
Despite this, all too often, we hear clients saying that they find even the smallest change difficult to do. 
 
So why is this? 
With the last few blog posts having been much longer than usual, we thought we’d keep it short and sweet this week. 
 
For some reason – and we have several theories as to why this is – most people seem to be experts at focussing on all the things they don’t want. Or fear happening. Or both. And can tell you all about them in gruesome detail. 
 
But ask them what they actually do want and the response you’re most likely to get is a stunned silence. As though you’ve asked them the last question on earth they’d ever expect and have no hope in answering. 
Over the last couple of years we’ve put various words we all use on a daily basis under the spotlight. And shown that they don’t quite have the meaning – or effect – many people think they do. Want. Need. Hope. 
 
Not forgetting those two seemingly innocuous little words, “I am (fill in the blank)”. And how what comes after them is so important, as it has the power to literally shape our own little world.  
 
In a positive way: “I am happy.” “I am fortunate.” 
 
Or, all too often, in a less helpful way: “I am fed up.” “I am so unlucky.” 
 
Well, recently, we’ve come across another little word that can have equally disastrous – and unintended – effects. It’s only four letters long but has the power to transform whatever comes after it into an uphill battle. 
A couple of weeks ago we posed a very simple question – “What’s the most important thing you should do every morning?” – and seem to have inadvertently ruffled a few feathers in the process. 
 
All the comments we received went along much the same lines. 
 
Didn’t we understand how much people had going on in their lives? 
 
That they didn’t have the time to be grateful for the simple fact that they’re alive. 
 
And what with Brexit / the economy / winter approaching / their work / family / fill in the blank what did they have to be grateful for anyway? 
 
You get the picture. 
We heard this question recently and, like the person posing it, expected an answer along the usual lines. Do a stretch or two. Have a shower. Don’t forget breakfast. Clean your teeth. 
 
Instead, a completely unexpected one came back. 
 
Be grateful – and happy – that you’re alive. 
 
It’s such a simple answer – and so obvious – and yet when did we last do it? Wake up being truly grateful and happy that we’re alive.  
 
Greeted the new day with a big smile. 
Over the years we’ve noticed that many people come to us seeking a magic bullet to cure their problem(s). Instantly. And, this is the crucial bit, without them needing to do anything themselves. Or, heaven forbid, making any changes to the way they choose to live their lives. 
 
Not only do they want a magic solution, but they tend to be extremely selective in considering where the problem may actually have come from in the first place. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s to do with their health, relationships, finances, work or something else entirely. They always seem to look for an external reason for whatever the problem may be. 
It’s a sentiment we’ve all felt at times. And one we hear from clients from time to time, not to mention family and friends too(!). It’s underpinned by the feeling that they’ve been singled out for some special – and unwarranted – treatment. As though some higher force – whoever or whatever that may be – thinks they deserve particular punishment for some unspecified act or crime. 
 
Perhaps it’s another person’s behaviour, an illness, society as a whole, government or something else completely different. Whatever the source, the message coming over loud and clear is that IT’S NOT FAIR AND they feel powerless to do anything about it. Just imagine a small child sulking and you get the picture. 
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