What channel are you tuned to?
Posted on 16th September 2015 at 07:30
And, no, we’re not talking about your favourite TV or radio channel.
Rather the personal station we all have in our heads. One that broadcasts 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. And is virtually impossible to ignore.
Not surprisingly many people refer to it as “the monster in their heads”.
The interesting thing is that we each have our own unique station. For us and us alone.
So, if we asked what your station was, what would you say?
Happy and full of the joys of life.
Perhaps the other extreme. Doom, gloom and despondency.
Or something in between.
Confused? Well, let’s explain.
It’s easy to assume that the station playing in your head is the same as everyone else’s. Says the same things. Gives you the same perspective on life. Encourages you to react in the same way.
But, when you step back to observe those around you, it quickly becomes clear this isn’t the case.
If you’re in any doubt, just observe how a group of people all experience – and so react – differently to the same simple event. Say, a rainy morning.
If your station is a happy one you may simply shrug your shoulders, saying that the garden needed the rain. Or point out shapes in the clouds – you know the ones that look like ducks / castles / something else. Or the beautiful rainbow.
It may be raining but you’re firmly tuned in to a happy station. Always seeing the positive – and good – in whatever happens during your day.
Life flows very easily for you as you can always find something to be happy about, no matter what is happening.
Or perhaps your station is more of a gloomy one. Only seeing your wet feet, forgotten coat / umbrella, ruined hair do. Big puddles.
For you, the day is already ruined.
Life becomes much harder work. A series of dramas, as things don’t go the way you would like – or expect.
Yes, we know, these are two extremes and there are endless of permutations. But you get the picture.
The interesting thing is that most people have never CONSCIOUSLY noticed WHICH station they’re turned to. “It’s just how I am.”
Let alone WHY they chose it in the first place. Why their monster says the things it does.
The scary bit is that it’s as though someone else is living our lives for us, without us ever having realised it. Or having any control over it.
So how on earth has this happened?
Well, the answer is simple and can be traced back to our earliest days. And “no” you can’t simply blame your parents – and family – and then forget all about it (!).
Babies and small children are like sponges. Absorbing everything that goes on around them. Using it to build their picture of the world – and their place in it.
And this then becomes their “default” setting. Their personal station. Their norm.
It’s easy to see how being raised in an environment where worrying was the norm; is going to create a very different “default” setting to one that was more happy to lucky.
The really interesting bit is that, as children get older, this “default” setting then acts as a filter for everything which then happens in their lives.
For how they react to – and experience – every single thing which happens in their lives.
And also explains why each person reacts a little differently to the same event.
But it doesn’t stop there.
While we may not like to admit it, humans are herd animals. We like to belong to a group with a similar outlook. It makes us feel safe and protected.
So this filter also helps determine those we consider as friends – or foes. Who’s like us. And who isn’t.
It explains why there’s so much pressure to be the same as everyone else in our particular group. Whether friends, family or those at work.
And how people can become ostracised from a particular group when they become “different” to everyone else. You probably know it better as “peer pressure.”
And so the process goes on day in, day out. Deep down in our subconscious, so we’re not even aware of it.
It’s like being tuned in to the same station without ever realising that it’s one of millions available. A choice we make each day, but never consciously.
So isn’t it about time you made a CONSCIOUS decision on your own station? One that makes you happy and helps life flow more easily.
Start by noticing your outlook on life – your own personal “default” setting.
And then making a conscious effort to listen to what is actually playing in your head. What your very own monster is saying to you.
Often this comes as a real surprise. The first time you’re actually noticed what’s happening in your head.
Which brings us to the million dollar questions.
Is this really you?
Is it the way you want to live your life?
And, most importantly, is it making your happy – and your life flow easily?
Most likely the answer to some – or all – of these questions will be “no”.
So now it’s down to you. It’s your choice. Do you want to change your station to a new “default” setting?
It may sound scary – and like hard work – but really isn’t. It’s just about making a decision to tune in to a different station. To override the monster in your head.
Turn it into a game. To always look for the upside – the positive – in whatever happens in your day.
Sometimes it’s easy and you’ll be able to easily tune in to your new channel.
Sometimes less so. But the gritted teeth “I’ll find a positive, however small” always wins out in the end. And often elicits a broader smile when you do.
Play with it. Have fun with it. After all, life is here to be enjoyed.
And as you do so, you’ll find that your “default” station has changed. Life starts to flow more easily. More good things seem to happen, with no extra effort on your part. And fewer less good things – causing less hassle than before, as you’re now on a happier station.
As always, the choice is yours.
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