When you don't feel like doing it...

 

 

Cue guilt, irritation – or worse (!) – regret and much more. You can probably feel the heaviness and futility of it all from there. What a heart sinker… 

 

It’s been a while since we’ve talked about the should word and why it’s ALWAYS a sign that you don’t want to do whatever it is. Someone else may want you to. Or you may be trying to convince yourself that it’s the “right” thing to do. What a “good” / “efficient” / fill in the blank person may do, even though it doesn’t feel that way for you. 

 

Whatever the reason, it’s like trying to move your car forwards with the handbrake still on. Yes, you may eventually get moving, but it’s not going to be easy, let alone a smooth ride! And for more words of wisdom on the should word, along with its other cohorts – would and could – click here. 

 

So, it’s time for a different perspective. One that stops the Little Monster in your Head beating you up when you have one of those days. Even worse, relying on sheer willpower to try and get things done. 

 

We can guarantee it goes against conventional logic but, instantly, takes the pressure off. Makes you feel so much better and able to get on with your day. Ready to hear what it is? 

 

Well, it’s quite simple. If you don’t feel like doing it, then it doesn’t need to be done. By you. Right now. Feeling like this. Full stop. Talk about instant relief! 

 

Perhaps you will feel like doing it at another time, whether later today or sometime in the future. Or in another way. But, right now, you don’t and that’s fine. More than fine in fact. 

 

So, you’ve instantly created time for something you would like to do. Feel inspired and motivated by. The question is, what would it be? 

It may be on your “to do” list, it may not. Perhaps one of things you’ve been vaguely meaning to do for ages, but never quite get round to. 

 

Or, perhaps, something that would only take a few minutes but make you smile. Like taking a mini holiday during your day. And we all have our own unique list of little pleasures that we know will instantly raise our spirits. 

 

Whatever it is, it feels better – whether a little or a lot – than any of the should’s you’ve been trying to convince yourself to do. Then, something magical happens. Suddenly, you do feel better. A great weight has been lifted. The handbrake come off. You’re on the move again and return to your day feeling more motivated and inspired. 

 

Then it’s simply a case of rinse and repeat. Doing whatever you feel inspired or motivated to do next. And next. And next. 

 

We know this goes completely against conventional wisdom that “this has to be done at that particular time and in that particular way”. But, as we’ve all found out to our cost, this is never the easiest way to get things done. Forcing any issue rarely leads to an easy or good result, it’s like trying to swim against the tide. Possible but hard work. More likely, it simply creates more work at a later stage as you end up having to redo it… 

 

Paying more attention to how you’re feeling really does make life flow more smoothly. True, it may take you out of your comfort zone at first; but listening to what feels better right now AND taking the hint, allows things to flow much more easily and smoothly. 

 

We’ve all experienced this many times. Trying to force something to be done when we really don’t feel like it. All the frustration in having to redo it at a later stage or accept a less than optimal result. Compare that with how different it feels when we are in the mood to do it. How easy and quickly we get it done. 

 

And, if we’re completely honest with ourselves, very few things need to be done right now or even by us, despite what the Little Monster in our Heads may be saying. There’s much more fluidity – or give – in life than we realise and it’s easy to ignore this as we get railroaded by all the should’s. 

 

Having used this approach for years – with the odd lapse when the Little Monster in our Heads briefly took charge (!) – we find that much more gets done, much more easily. And, for anything we don’t feel like doing, we simply leave it to one side for the time being.  

Sometimes, it suddenly becomes the thing we do want to do and gets done. Easily and quickly. Other times, it just drops away. Didn’t need doing at all. Or by us. Someone else has kindly done it, thank you very much! All with minimum fuss and effort. We just have to drop the need to try and control every aspect of our lives, listen to what feels better right now and follow it. 

 

And one final word of wisdom before we go for today. Often, what feels better won’t make any logical sense. To you or anyone else.  

Perhaps, it’s a job that doesn’t seem so urgent, but helps clear the decks for others. Maybe having a break and going for a walk, a cup of your favourite beverage (!) or calling a friend you’ve been meaning to call for ages seems mad when you’ve got so much on your to do list. But it gave time for your creative juices to flow, inspiration to magically appear. 

 

So, isn’t it time to pay a little more attention to your inner guidance? Be kinder to yourself. Go with the day and what feels best. 

 

If you don’t feel like doing it, then it doesn’t need to be done. Not now. Not by you. Not in this mood. And, if it does, then you’ll feel like doing it. 

 

As always, the choice is yours.