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As we may have mentioned a few times before (!) we find people endlessly fascinating. And if you talk to any practitioner they would probably say the same. Not only our clients, but those we meet in our day to day lives, as well as family and friends. 
 
It may be something of a cliché but there’s always something to be learnt from everyone you meet, once you stop making snap judgments and take the time to get to know them. If you need a reminder about this, just scroll down to our post a couple of weeks ago about jumping to conclusions (!). Judgement is weakness, observation power. 
 
So what are we going to talk about today? It’s something we’ve been aware of for a long time but, for some reason, has become increasingly more obvious in recent months. And, perhaps, all the “doom, gloom and despondency” in the media has a lot to do with this. 
 
 
It’s the two different ways in which you can choose to move through life. One way is to move TOWARDS something you want; the other is to move AWAY from something you don’t want. 
 
Now while this may sound like a case of semantics – or two sides of the same coin – they are very different. Both in the underlying motivation and end result. Confused? Well, let’s explain. 
 
Just stop for a minute and think about something you really wanted – or desired. It doesn’t matter whether it was big or small, but it’s probably easier to think of something small for the moment. 
 
Go back and remember how you enjoyed imagining what it would be like to have it. All those day dreams you had about it. How good it would feel. The pleasure you would experience as a result. And, most importantly, how the process of getting it – the journey if you like – was just as important a part of it as actually getting it. It’s all about positive energy and enjoyment. 
 
Now think about something you definitely didn’t want and the process of trying to avoid it. How the mere thought of it gets all the butterflies in your stomach going. 
 
Instead of being motivated by the positive emotions of pleasure, excitement and fulfilment; you’re motivated by avoiding the negative ones of dullness, disappointment and pain. No longer is the process – or journey – pleasurable, it becomes hard work and uncomfortable. The energy is all negative, about fear and pain avoidance. 
 
Moving towards something you desire is all about possibilities. It stimulates the creative powers and brings those chance encounters and events – good luck and serendipity, if you prefer – into our lives, speeding the whole process along. You’re open to all those things that you’d never thought of before that could help you. And if things don’t quite go to plan, you deal with them easily. 
 
By contrast, moving away from the something is all about avoidance and limitation. It shuts down our creative powers and puts us into survival mode. Life becomes hard work and a struggle. The whole emphasis is on trying to prevent what you fear from happening but, in the process, you end up repeating the same mistakes over and over again. The smallest obstacle turns into a roadblock. 
 
And there’s more. While you’re busy focussing on avoiding something you don’t want, you won’t even notice when something you DO WANT comes your way. So the chance to proceed in a completely different – and positive – direction is missed. You end up feeling stuck and disappointed. Life becomes hard work. 
 
If your focus has always been on avoidance, changing to a different more positive focus may sound like a rather tall order. However, strange as it may seem, knowing what you DON’T WANT – and wish to avoid – tells you what you DO WANT or DESIRE
 
If you don’t want to be ill, then you want – desire – to be healthy. 
 
If you don’t want to be poor, then you want – desire – to be rich. 
 
If you don’t want a job that exploits you, then you want – desire – a job that values you. 
 
And once you know what you do want, you can start focussing in on the specifics. What being healthy / rich / in a job that values you means for you. 
 
For one person being healthy may be all about being pain free and able to potter around the house. Another may want to be running marathons. What constitutes being healthy, like anything else we want – desire – is different for each of us. 
 
And when you’ve worked out what it means for you daydream about it, get used to the possibility of it, imagine how good it feels. As you do so you move into a place that feels good and all your creative powers are unleashed. You’re on the launch pad poised for take off! 
 
While it may be contrary to everything you’ve ever been told, focussing on pain avoidance and all the things you don’t want – or desire – will NEVER make you happy or get you the life you desire. It will only get more of what you don’t want – or fear – so perpetuating the negative cycle. And, if you don’t believe it, just look at the world around you… 
 
As always, the choice is yours. 
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