If in doubt, leave it alone...
Posted on 12th April 2023 at 07:12
We’ve talked before about the modern obsession with being “busy, busy, busy” and, ideally, letting everyone know just how busy we really are… If you need a quick reminder why this approach doesn’t make our lives any easier – or get the desired results (!) – then click here.
And it’s one particular aspect of this action orientated approach we’d like to talk about today. The tendency to try and micro manage every part of our lives. The rationale behind this approach is quite simple. Well, in theory at least, as well as from a logistics point of view. It allows us to control the what, when and how. What happens, when it happens and how it happens. Unfortunately, rather than making our lives simpler and easier, it tends to have exactly the opposite effect. Not only creating much more work for ourselves but also relying on sheer willpower and stamina to get things done.
We’re sure you’ve experienced this many times before. Both in the simple, everyday things and in larger – or longer term – projects.
Why is this?
Well, the simple answer is that we’re trying to force things to happen when we think they should, rather than when they’re ready. Ah, now the choice of picture makes sense. Trying to force a square peg into a round hole! And, if this sounds like two sides of the same coin, you’d be right. But they’re two very different sides…
Despite what we may like to think, we never have ALL the information about anything, regardless of how simple – or not (!) – it may be. So, we’re ALWAYS starting with an incomplete picture. To compensate for this, we rely on experience, whether of that particular matter or extrapolated from something else. Or, perhaps, based on “advice” from those around us who have a similarly incomplete picture too… Unfortunately, this overlooks a very simple fact. This is not the past, it’s now. While things may be similar, they NEVER repeat themselves in exactly the same way.
Then, having tried to force things to happen in one particular way, we compound matters by insisting when they happen. And, again, this overlooks another simple fact. They may not be ready – for a myriad of other reasons and factors, many of which we’re simply not aware of – to happen when we think they should. But this doesn’t stop us from trying to force them to happen…
When you look at it in this way, it’s not surprising that this approach – relying on sheer force and willpower – doesn’t produce the best or easiest results.
So, what’s the answer?
Well, as usual, it’s very simple and completely counter intuitive if you’re used to relying on sheer force to get things done. It’s twofold.
As you go about your day, noticing how easily – or not (!) - things are going for you. Are you having to use force in some way, whether to start doing whatever it is or to get it done? If so, this is a big hint that you’re not going to get the best results – even if you manage to complete them at all…
At the same time, to tune in to how you’re feeling about whatever it is. Are you feeling inspired to do it? Do you have lots of ideas about the best way to do so? Or, perhaps, ideas of alternatives that would tick all the boxes?
In other words, are you listening to your inner guidance. The little voice that speaks quietly in your ear or nudges you in a particular direction.
Or, are you listening to the Little Monster in your Head? You know him very well. That loud insistent voice who’s busy telling you what you should do, when you should do and how you should do it. And, the “should” word is always a red flag worth paying attention to (!).
If you’re getting lots of “yes’s” to these questions and are fueled by lovely positive energy, then go ahead. You’ll accomplish whatever it is very quickly and easily. Hurrah, something else ticked off the list!
If, on the other hand, you’re getting more “no’s” and “I’m not sure” and not feeling positive towards it, then take the hint and put it to one side for another time or day. Perhaps have a quick think about it first, then leave it with your subconscious to come up with some ideas. We can guarantee these will pop into your head at the most unexpected times – and, often, much more quickly than you’d expect. Instead, go and do something you do feel inspired to do, even if it’s not remotely connected to this.
Why?
Because this is when the magic happens, as it allows the subconscious to work without any interference from the Little Monster in our Heads. It also helps put your energy in a much more positive place, again helping the whole process along.
Trying to force things NEVER gives good results. Nor does doing anything we don’t want – or feel inspired – to do. And, more often than not, we find ourselves having to do it over again, whether simply tinkering round the edges or starting again from scratch. Listening to our inner guidance and any hints we’re being given, allows things to flow much more easily, even if it means putting some things off until another time or day.
As always, the choice is yours.
Photograph by unknown author
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