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Posts tagged “Mindset”

It always makes us smile – in a slightly rueful way, we would hasten to add (!) – when we listen to people talking about themselves. Their achievements, skills and abilities. 
 
For some reason – and perhaps it’s part of the natural English reserve / mindset – we’re just not comfortable about blowing our own trumpets. Well, if we’re going to be completely honest, most of us aren’t comfortable doing this. 
 
And, yes, of course there are always going to be exceptions to this rule – and there’s lots we could say about this (!) – but we’ll leave that one for another day... 
Service is one of those words with a multitude of different meanings, not helped by it being used as both a noun and a verb. Doesn’t that take you back to English and Grammar lessons at school?!? 
 
Then there are its religious, military and domestic service overtones, all adding to a generally negative vibe. Hinting at hard work, duty and doing things we wouldn’t necessarily choose to do. And, probably, with – or for (!) – people we probably wouldn’t choose to spend our time with… 
 
Given all of this, it’s not surprising that service is often viewed as being rather old fashioned and belonging to a bygone era. Best consigned to the pages of history. 
 
However, this isn’t what we wanted to focus on today, but rather the more general – and voluntary (!) – aspect of service. 
A few weeks ago – goodness, it was mid February (!) – we had a look at susceptibility. Why there is no bogeyman – with your name written on them (!) – out there waiting for you. If you need a quick reminder, you can find the post here
 
As so often is the case, this has led on to various conversations with clients, friends and family about what actually determines susceptibility. In other words, the Risk Factors. The things most likely to tip the odds for you in the wrong direction. 
 
Before we go any further, there’s one very important thing to bear in mind. That we’re all completely unique. In every way. There’s never been another person exactly like us and never will be again. So, however similar we may be to another person – or people – our own particular make up, circumstances, life and medical history are unique to us. 100%. 
This week we’re taking a break from writing a blog post and, instead, sharing a very poignant poem sent to us by a client. Thank you, SW. We trust it’ll touch you as much as it did us and, perhaps, even bring a tear to your eye too… 
 
Oh, and if you’re wondering about the choice of picture, who can resist the sight of lambs at this time of year?!? 
It’s always good to have something to mull over and give the “little grey cells” a gentle workout. So, this week, we’re going to take a look at a little conundrum that’s been intriguing us in recent weeks. And that’s people’s shopping choices in the run up – and during – the current madness. 
 
Here in the UK, we’re used to milk and bread flying off the shelves at the first mention of snow. Well, let’s be honest, even at the mere thought of snow. Which, in reality, usually means a couple of inches max and the country grinding to a halt for a few days. It’s one of those unwritten traditions we’ve all learnt to expect... 
 
This is in stark contrast with a lovely comment we heard years ago from a Canadian. When asked whether she was worried about it snowing – and having to drive back to her hotel in London (!) – she said there wasn’t “proper” snow in the UK. Her definition of “snow” being that she couldn’t find her car in the morning. It certainly gives a very different perspective! 
As clients and regular readers of this blog will know by now, we find the human condition endlessly fascinating. And not, as we always hasten to add, in an “OMG” way. Or any other unkind or judgemental way (!). 
 
Rather, what interests us is the myriad of different ways in which people can view the same event. And then react to it. Not surprisingly, the events of recent weeks have provided a very good example of this. And continue to do so… 
 
Interestingly, many of the responses – particularly in the early days – were those we more often see in connection with grief. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. The classic stages which many people go through, although often not in that particular order or at the time. It’s a topic we’ve covered before and our post can be found here
While we may not like to think of ourselves as animals – and herd animals at that (!) – this is exactly what human beings are. We are naturally social by nature, albeit to varying degrees and with different people (!). 
 
As a result – and however much we may not like to admit it – we’re influenced by what’s going on around us ALL the time. Whether consciously or not. 
 
Perhaps from the people around us. Whether we’re interacting with them or not. What they’re saying, doing, thinking or feeling. 
Or, may be, from a change in what’s going on in the wider world around us. 
Over the past few weeks, we’ve been taking a look at what’s actually going on in our heads. Discovered that, contrary to what we’d like to think, we have very little idea of what’s really going on. Let alone how – or why – it happens… 
 
We know this revelation has been rather unsettling – even scary – for many people. It was for us, the first time we realised that the way we experience life was down to us. 100% of our own making. Without the involvement of any external – or arbitrary – force. Full stop. End of story. 
 
However, the great news is that, this revelation puts us back where we belong. In the driving seat. Gives us the power to choose how we experience our life and what happens in it. And, with everything going on at the time of posting (25th March 2020), there’s never been a time when understanding this has been more important… 
Well, here we all are again, going a little further down the rabbit hole to take a look at what’s been going on in our heads for all those years. Without us ever having been aware of it. 
 
While we may like to think we’re in control of our thoughts, sadly, this is a long way from the truth. The only comfort is that we’re all in the same boat. Have all fallen for the same little trick aided, in large part, by the Little Monster in our heads. 
 
And if this sounds like bad news, IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT. After all, how on earth can we do anything about it, if no one realises what’s going on? 
 
All going well, over the last couple of weeks, you’ve started to notice what’s going on in your head. Become aware of both the EFFECT of your thoughts, words and deeds – apologies, we still haven’t been able to come up with a less biblical sounding trio (!) – but, more importantly, the CAUSE. The belief – or assumption – underlying them, which sets the ball in motion. 
Since the start of the year – and brand new decade (!) – we’ve been looking at our tendency to always look outside for the reasons for whatever’s going on in our lives. Suggesting that, perhaps, we’ve been looking in completely the wrong place. 
 
Instead of looking outside ourselves for the reason – “It’s nothing to do with me, honest Guv” – we should be looking inside. And, this is where it can start to get quite scary for many people. 
 
Before we pick up where we left off a fortnight ago, we’d like to take a quick look at WHY we find it so scary.  
 
Well, the simple answer is that it’s another one of those cunning little tricks, the Little Monster in our heads plays on us; which stops us from making any changes. 
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