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Posts tagged “Mindset”

Let’s face it, there are some days when we feel below par. Less than our usual – hopefully happy (!) – selves. 
 
Perhaps we wake up with our own little black cloud firmly in place which stays with us for the day. Or, sometimes, a bit longer. 
Other times, it’s much more transient. We’re fine one minute, a little down the next and then it’s gone. A small cloud that quickly disappears. 
 
When we feel low – particularly at this time of year, when we’re meant to be full of seasonal cheer – it’s all too easy to go into over analysis mode. Looking for the “why”. But often there isn’t a simple – or obvious – answer for our change of mood. And we end up beating ourselves up for the lack of obvious answers. Talk about being counter productive. Making life more difficult for ourselves. 
 
Life is all about choices. 
 
And, yes, we know this is something of a cliché (!) but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true... 
 
Some are made consciously. 
 
When we stop and look at all the options before deciding which one to choose. Weigh up the pro’s and con’s of each one. Make an informed – or conscious – decision. 
 
Others are made by default. 
 
Perhaps by turning a blind eye to whatever it is until the decision is made for us. Whether by someone else or events making the choice for us. 
There are some words we all seem to have issues with and are guaranteed to hit a sensitive spot. Perhaps it’s the negative connotations they seem to have. Or, they’ve been a buzz word in school / work / media / government / fill in the blank so we’re heartily fed up with them (!). 
 
In the case of the word we’re focussing on today, forgiveness, it’s more of a religious one. It’s seen as setting a standard that seems impossible for us, mere mortals, to attain. 
 
Dig out the dictionary – or do an internet search – and it’s easy to see why this word invokes such feelings. Its definition includes words like “exoneration, purgation, pardon, pity, mercy, clemency” with even “tolerance, understanding, leniency” sounding like a pretty tall order. 
 
So, today, we’d like to give a different perspective on forgiveness. One that makes it something we could actually achieve without super human efforts. 
We often hear people saying it’s hard to be happy. Even worse, that you can’t expect to be happy. And this is usually followed by a long list of whatever’s going on in their lives followed by what’s on the news. 
 
While it’s true that there are always going to be things going on in our lives, we always seem to look for happiness in the wrong place. In the world around us, rather than within. If this sounds rather strange, bear with us, it’ll all make sense in a moment. 
We were asked this question the other day and it’s a great one to get you thinking about what you truly value in life. 
 
So, before we go any further, why not take a couple of minutes to answer it for yourself? 
 
And, for those of you who worry about getting the answer “wrong”, the good news is there isn’t a “right” answer. Phew, that takes the pressure off! It’s only about what matters to you and, you never know, you might learn something interesting about yourself in the process... 
 
Having posed this question to various people, it quickly became clear that people tended to focus on tangible things when first answering it. Not surprisingly things like their home, car or granny’s engagement ring were popular initial answers. These were quickly followed by their “significant other”, parents or a much loved “four footed friend.” 
We all have times when we just don’t know what to do. 
 
Perhaps we’ve looked at things from every angle and allowed “analysis paralysis” to bring us to a complete standstill. Sometimes, if we’re completely honest, our heart just isn’t in whatever it is and so nothing gets done. Or we’re waiting for the “right time” which, ironically, never comes. 
 
And not forgetting those times when we know exactly what needs to be done but have convinced ourselves – for whatever reason – that we can’t do it. 
It seems to be a common human failing that we all find it difficult to ask for help at times. 
 
Sometimes it’s because of a terrier like tendency not to let go until we’ve sorted whatever it is out. “I’ll do this if it’s the last thing I do.” 
 
Or, perhaps, it’s down to embarrassment – or pride – that we think we’ll look stupid if we ask for help. “Everyone else can do it, why can’t I?”. “What will people think?” 
 
While it may sound like a bit of a cliché, there’s nothing stupid about asking for help. In fact, exactly the reverse could be said to be true. Knowing that you need help but not asking for it, now that is stupid. 
 
Despite all the press coverage – and scare stories – over the last few years about Dementia and Alzheimer’s there still seems to be a huge amount of confusion about them. And we should quickly say that no pun was intended. 
 
In talking to clients, we’ve noticed that most people seem to use these two words interchangeably. And, even when there’s been a diagnosis of one or the other, they don’t seem to be much the wiser. To know what it actually means. Or what can be done to help. 
 
If you think this sounds far too simplistic – not to mention rather hippy’ish (!) – please bear with us. We’d like to give you another one of our different perspectives on life. 
 
There can be little doubt that we each experience a huge range of different emotions during our day to day lives. And in our own unique way. 
 
We all seem to have our own particular range of emotions. Those we tend to express most often and feel more comfortable with. Positive and less so. 
 
And, as a quick aside, the Mr Men – and Little Miss – books many of us enjoyed as children offer brilliant caricatures of some of them. Mr Happy. Mr Grumpy. Mr Worry. 
We’ve all experienced it at times. Situations – or people – we’ve thought AND thought about, but still don’t know how to deal with them. 
 
Sometimes there are just too many options.  
 
Or, perhaps, conflicting pieces of advice (!). 
 
Other times, we’re completely stumped and don’t have any idea what to do. 
 
If you’ve given something lots of thought and are still stuck, then it’s time to give your logical – conscious – mind a rest and hand it over to your subconscious mind. This is your creative mind, where all those flashes of inspiration and radical new insights come from. 
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