Why the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence

 

 

Regardless of what we have – whether it’s exactly what we desire or not (!) – we always seem to be reaching for something else. The next “must have” which we think will magically make our lives complete. Or, at least, better than they are now. Unfortunately, this never quite seems to have the desired effect and we find ourselves trapped in a seemingly endless pursuit of the next “must have.” Consumerist heaven or hell, depending on your perspective (!). 

 

Why is this? 

 

Well, it all starts with a very common human trait which the Little Monster in our heads is very quick to exploit. We just don’t seem to appreciate what we have right now, big and small. Whatever comes into our lives quickly fades into the background, losing its newness and becoming something that’s “just there”, quickly taken for granted. 

 

Then, as we’re all still hunter gatherers at heart – even if it no longer involves the plains and wilderness, but all the conveniences of modern life (!) – it’s easy for our natural instincts to take over sending us off in search of the “next thing.” The only difference is that it’s no longer about the basics needed to survive but the next shiny consumable that, the advertising and those around us, persuade us is exactly what we need to make our lives complete. Unfortunately, it never quite seems to have the desired effect. And, so, a cycle of perpetual dis satisfaction is born, driving us on a never ending quest to make our lives “complete.” 

 

Having talked to Clients about this regularly over the years, it’s interesting how exactly the same logic always seems to come up. That, somehow, if we appreciate and enjoy what we already have – whether it’s exactly what we desire or not – this, somehow, stops us from being able to get anything else. 

 

As so often is the case, this logic just doesn’t stand up to any kind of scrutiny. Why on earth would appreciating and enjoying what we have now stop us from getting something else in the future? It just doesn’t make any sense at all and, yet again, is another of the little tricks the Little Monster in our heads plays on us. That, somehow, being permanently dis satisfied with what we already have AND striving for something “better” will result in the life we desire. 

 

And, yet, so many people seem to fall for this trick.  

 

True, dis satisfaction and struggle can be used as motivation but, just like relying on willpower and stamina, requires a lot of energy and conscious effort to achieve anything. 

 

So, isn’t it time for a simpler – and infinitely easier – approach? 

 

Which is where appreciation comes in. 

 

It's often said that appreciation is a master skill, one of those skills that makes all the difference to how people do in life. In our experience, we’d say that’s completely true. 

 

To start with, appreciating and enjoying what we already have makes us feel much better right now, which is a great reason to do it on its own. Hurrah! But it goes much further than that. 

 

Appreciation sends out high energy vibes to the world – and people – around us; the complete opposite to the low energy, heavy vibes generated by any sort of dis satisfaction. It helps create a much more positive mood and outlook making it easier to envisage, and then create, whatever we next desire. It triggers our creative powers and all those bright ideas that often, magically, bring us what we next desire – often helped along by a dose of serendipity. 

 

Put another way, just think about who is more likely to be helped in some way. Someone who is grumpy and ungrateful OR someone who is happy and grateful. If you need a little extra help in answering this question just think of a spoilt child at Christmas… 

 

And, for those people who are thinking it’s all very well for us, what about me, there are ALWAYS things to be grateful for regardless of how “good” – or less so (!) – life is at the moment. The trick is to start small and focus on all those things it’s easy to take for granted. 

 

Having said that, we’ll start with a big one that everyone always seems to overlook. That you woke up this morning. As did those you love and care for. After all, without those we love around us, life would be very different… 

 

Then there are all the smaller things we never seem to think about. A comfortable bed. Warm shower. Cup of our favourite beverage. Sunshine through the curtains. A warm welcome from our four legged friend(s). A favourite song on the radio. And much more besides. 

 

What you’ll quickly notice is that, as soon as you can think of a few things to be grateful for, many more seem to suddenly appear. And, “bingo”, you’re heading in a much more positive direction. Life instantly improves and seems to flow much more easily. It really is that simple. 

 

As always, the choice is yours.